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I’ve been dancing late at night with gently coached guidance and sometimes it’s so fast. Yet when I’m doing it, it also goes by in an instant. “I want to do this daily,” says my heart.

I notice that my brain reverts to saying "Do it right" in its perfectionist mode of primal, past-self judgment while my heart is saying, "This is awesome! We’re practicing how to let go and be loose and swingy and fast!"

I want tears. I need to find them. I'm such an introvert and such a leader and such a performer and such a spiritual soul and the voice of calm and... and... I need to be as messy as I authentically am while I release more and more. 

I've done so much work, survived so much, overcome so much, forgiven everything... and whatever. It's never done. I don’t need to know how much work I’ve done because honestly, I don’t truly know. It's boot camp time again, not because I need to keep up with ANYTHING else but because I want to flow with my float and be with my beat. 

I’m releasing the warrior and embracing the child. As I do, it’s clear they’re one and the same. 

There’s a lot of emphasis in our society on flying a very specific banner and keeping up appearances. Are we warriors? Are we advocates? Are we in recovery? In a blanket attempt to free everyone from labels that don’t fit us, this same society now pushes for finding our authenticity.  

Then off we go to find what brand of authenticity suits us best, shopping for the freak flag du jour that’s most appealing. Is that individualism? Or is that another label that fits in as a side show to the societal rave? 

Who are we, really? Most of us hardly even have an answer ourselves. Buffeted about by our conditions and armored with our scars, we often don’t find the thing our mind was really made for or our heart desires. Instead, we notice that which we can’t easily do, the tasks and jobs that take up all our time. While some say these things are easy or necessary, there’s no fulfillment and frankly, no time, because we’re inefficient at them and not aligned.

And then there’s the practice of comparing ourselves and fitting into it all. Pretty soon, we believe what we’re supposed to believe - that the wealthy are happy, the children are safe, the world is our oyster, the poor are using up all the money, corporations are as good as they can be because HR is checking ‘best practice’ boxes and metrics are within appropriate boundaries. We see nothing of home, nothing of what meets margins, we hear that criminals are taking all the jobs, there are double standards, we believe words indiscriminately, we turn a blind eye. It’s not bad. It’s simply not rigorous and pretty randomly assigned. It’s belief of a facade. 

The illusion of what is, what acts in certain ways because of labels, what books and historic pasts absolve us of responsibility, all parade around as life. But there’s another life. It’s the one someone else believes. There’s also the life behind the curtain, in the closed files, thrown away as insignificant. 

Also part of life is collective consciousness. Awareness by many of what connects us because we believe it together. And then there’s the inherent  intelligence of life. Whatever we do, we cause consequence. We can actually be very intentional with that ability and wield it with the magic wand of purpose. But we also can claim a sort of non-mechanical energy, that being the energy we all feel in thought, in sleep, in belief. It’s something not at all linear and seemingly very woo. 

That very concept messes with our minds and the principle of direct reaction. So instead, we illogically subject meaning to swaths of people whom we have no connection and objects in the sky of which we’ve paid no previous attention. 

Of course, these are just my thoughts. “Did that really come from me? Why do I need an idea to have originated with me? Or do I?” 

Part of being creative is organizing intelligence and concepts in different ways, believing them, and getting other people to believe them. This is the life of the storyteller, the artist, the politician, and what you now know as the influencer. So while I may not have come up with these thoughts at all, since intelligence is inherent everywhere and simply emerges in our slowly opening minds, it is my organization of this intelligence to make sense of it before I accept it and believe it which brings it outward to engage the minds of others.

So how do I crack open this nut and allow this spirit to dance forward? And what do I hope to accomplish? For now, I’m going to be in love with sleep, be in love with movement, be in love with creation, guide people to calm with my voice, write music that pushes softly and strongly like the tide, and dance. Because I’m here. And I am.

What will you do today?