Best Intentions in an Unrealized Universe

You haven't seen this blog for well over a week. Other "start buttons" got the better of me. Meh, I flatter myself. They were more like mosquitos that kept me swatting whenever I was inspired to write. Somehow this blog did not step in with enough urgency to light a fire under my butt. 

In all honesty, that butt fire gets put out fast because it's always easy to put up a short, positive, pithy post on social media with my smiling countenance and people are somehow thrilled. There have been an inordinate amount of livestock crises the last ten days or so as well, but I digress...

I just had a talk with someone who never did well with the ideas of forgiveness or compassion. I am a very forgiving soul, and highly compassionate. I've questioned if I have too much compassion, but my compassion shows up in unusual ways and is a survival skill and a superpower. 

As I listened, I realized that this person had never had the concept of forgiveness in their life. Compassion was not an emotion extended to them. They couldn't grok these concepts. (For those who have not read Heinlein, to "grok" is to have a deep, universal understanding - it's a bit different than just "getting it".)

I didn't use to grok gratitude at all. People around me began at one point to cultivate gratitude by harvesting it in jars, placing a word or more a day in the jar. I just didn't feel gratitude like that. I appreciate the roof over my head, it is very practical. I have also worked very hard for it. I am not as grateful for my dog as I love my dog. I am not grateful for the birds, I am in awe of them. Growing up, I had plenty, I felt it was enough. I did not want more stuff. I did want help. When I became an adult, I never felt that anyone had my back. 

I really felt enormous gratitude when I bought a new pre-owned vehicle and it broke down inconveniently on the way home for no apparent reason. It was right in the middle of traffic. The gas gauge said it had gas. No idea what was going on, and the car even had the price still on it.

Someone stopped and tried to see in the gas tank for me. A sheriff stopped to get the guy to safety and then was trying to figure out what was wrong, helped me get to the side of the road, parked his vehicle behind mine, and called a truck to tow me to the nearest place to see if they could diagnose the trouble.

Luckily, it was the first warm day ever. (Winter is long in Vermont.) When the truck arrived, he confirmed that the model I purchased had issues with the sending unit that caused the gas gauge to malfunction after a short time. He towed me to a gas station and made sure that was the trouble. He was right. I paid him for the very short tow and filled it with gas. I was so grateful!

When I relayed my story that day, people thought that I 'must be so pissed!' 'What a terrible day!' I said that I was incredibly grateful! I had a problem and I expect to need to leave my new car and hike into town and buy a gas can and haul back gasoline! Instead, I received all sorts of help that surprised me!

It took me to a ripe old age to learn on my own what gratitude really is, and I imagine I feel it more profoundly for that. As for the person I talked to? They began to feel compassion creep into a part of their body that had formerly ached. With that, they gained perspective and were able to make a phone call they had not previously been able to make.  

Bottom line? We can't assume that everyone has an understanding of every complex emotion the way we do. Our universal worldview shows us very different pictures. And that's ok. We each are doing the best we can. Don't assume someone won't get it. They will. Eventually.