Soapbox No.9

     It wasn't long before she noticed that no one seemed to be listening at all, that is until her friend
boomed, "Get off yer damned soapbox and let's get some lunch before this turns ugly!"

    It's a familiar enough scene. Someone we know is a pundit and blows off a lot of steam, and we all tune it out. Or we try to relay something meaningful and no one seems to listen. Or perhaps we or someone we love becomes impassioned about a topic and are told we need food because we are becoming irrational. 

    It can all be in good-natured humor. Friends can have each other's backs and really know when we have low blood sugar (or they do) or perhaps limited time before needing to punch back into work. They may really want to hear what we have to say once there is a table and a couple of sandwiches between us.

    Alternately, we may find that we intensely dislike being talked at, pigeonholed, not having a conversation but being given a lecture we hadn't given permission to have bestowed. We may feel embarrassed or ashamed if we get the gumption to speak up and are shut down by the call for lunch. We may find that feeling frustrating if we have allowed ourselves to miss lunch in order to listen.

    There are parts of ourselves that simply react to things in the moment. Some of us have them more at the forefront than others, but we all recognize that we do this. It's easier to recognize later and extremely difficult to notice in the moment. 

    One of these parts of ourselves judges us and is equally good at judging others. It's reasonable that we have judgment as that ability can keep us safe at times, yet when it is overbearing, it can cause more ill feelings in our day than good feelings. Another part of us is sage, a part that we think of as elder wisdom, and yet we can access it at any age and grow more accustomed to its guidance if we exercise it.

    Sage wisdom notices what we don't like about being pigeonholed and learns how to excuse ourselves politely and say that we are noticing the time and we have "something" to attend. Sage wisdom remembers that everyone becomes impassioned and also has time to eat, so talking while everyone has lunch may be better received by all. Sage wisdom may tell us that when we speak out of excitement and others need to leave, that we simply forgot that it is lunchtime and we can talk about that exciting thing later.

    The sage doesn't beat us up like the judge does, so we become a friendlier, happier individual. We can start exercising the sage wisdom by noticing our breath for a few seconds every time we sit down, how our chest or stomach rises and falls, or that the air is slightly cool when it enters our nostrils and warmer upon exit. We can wiggle our toes and try to feel each one of them, not how they work, but just notice them. We can feel the weight of the phone in our hand when we pick it up. Notice how our body experiences space.

    And then, before responding or stepping onto Soapbox No.9, take a couple of reasonably deep breaths. Be in good humor. Treat yourself kindly.

Love,

Lydia