Creating presence

 

HOW DO I BE WHERE I AM..

...once I've fed a bouncing dog, done my ablutions and drank my water, stretched, and met the sweet chickens with a peaceful and open mind? What do I do if the dog doesn’t stop bouncing or society does not stop beating at my brow?

Creating a place for Presence

Love the dog, stroke her and listen to her, breathe in long and out for longer, and roll my shoulders to the outside. Put my head to the side of her for just a moment and feel her presence, be wrapped in her breathing. If she's ready to calm, bring her in to settle near me and meditate; bring the Tibetan bowl and enrobe myself in the sound as I move the rod smoothly around its rim.

If my dog instead indicates by her breathing that she is in need of play, take her lead; snort back at her when she snorts and rough her haunches, rollick, and play. If it is outside time that we need, go out back with her to the hens, talk to them and observe where they are in their day and listen to what they are saying. Run with the dog and allow her speed to overtake me. Let her exuberance excite me. Feel her adoration as I praise her beauty and strength. 

Being Present

Presence is being with whatever is with me with which I make a choice to be present. If I feel reluctant about things that are nearby, like the dishes or the phone or a disorganized space or mind, I do not choose to be with those things at a time when I am preparing to be present with myself. If the presence of those things causes me to react and push other parts of myself aside, those are not the things with which I choose to be present. They will wait.

What if they don’t wait?

If I promised to do the dishes and they nag at me, I jot them on a list, very specifically telling the dog that I am making a list of what I intend to do later so we can snuggle now without me thinking about it. If there’s a message from Mom, I’ll also jot down to text Mom back. If there are items to send out and I know I can’t put those thoughts away, I will jot those down as well. Then off to the dog!

Follow through

Part of putting these items on a short list of intentions is to free me for presence of mind so I can be with what I observe and what I feel. I know that when I am done, at 10:30 or whatever time I say, I will send those documents and text Mom (if it’s a busy day, remembering to love us each by thanking her for reaching out, that I just have a quick moment); those are the intentions I chose. How I manifest that choice is part of presence. Part of how I choose to be (not just do) is to choose what, when, and how; it is in my ability to choose my path and my reaction (if I react).

This is my path

The dog is an entryway. The Tibetan bowl and meditation are steps. There are walks around the block with music and silent walks in the woods for short and longer presence. Gradually, writing music and prose straight from this state becomes a mode of being rather than a mode of doing because it hasn’t been pushed to the end of an unintentional day of responding to that which grabs attention.