Authenticity and Safety in a Raw Society

September 30, 2024

What's this journey we call life? Are we just trying to sail through pain-free, or is it no pain=no gain, go hard or go home? 

I seem to be becoming exactly, authentically more myself, and that self is calm because she can step back. Yet I have stress, I have dichotomies. Indeed, we seem as societal beings to strongly believe that we must work hard. 

Life is not about working hard. That's neither the goal nor the solution. Some things come from working hard, yet some come from innate talent with little labor because it flows and there's no struggle. This scenario provides that we progress with less effort because our bag of tricks is already replete. Those efforts we make transform to an integral state of being when we do actually work hard. Our work focuses on a succinct, profound goal and that's about the fulfillment, not the work itself. 

Transformation happens to us all in the coaching and consulting world, not just to those who follow us, though few will transform under our watch if we don't do it ourselves first. 

Then there's this matter of integrity and how we may preserve it. Integrity is seen as a human right but we forget that it's a personalized responsibility, not just a response of our ego, to choose progressive growth and transcendence. How do we preserve our integrity when we're offended? Does it hamper our wellbeing? 

Question: How do we preserve our integrity when we're offended? Does it hamper our wellbeing? 

Well, I love a good trigger. It sucks though, right? It hurts. Still, when I find something which really needles me, it shines a light on my gaps. These are gaps which erode my transformation and transcendence and most of all, my connection. 

But I haven't arrived yet. 

I see a trend of those saying, "Don't trigger me, you need to stop speaking like that..." I see this largely as being egotistic and judgmental. It's a dichotomy of mine which I am transmuting as I write. 

No, I don't write them off; I believe wholeheartedly in our mutability, our neuroplasticity. Yet I still make a judgment in my head by thinking about what they could do differently. I want to say, "Stop airing your ____ in public. Walk away and deal with yourself and why you became offended. It's not their job to know your past traumas. Even if they do know and are trying to offend you, it's still in your ballcourt to heal your mess." 

What is our position as the consultants, mentors, and coaches that we may be? I believe it's my position to deal with it; those who come to me gift me another thing to learn. Meanwhile, they are exactly where they need to be so they can learn their next step. 

I commit to my own transformation and the never-ending process that it is. This is what I'm here for, to learn the lessons - all of the lessons of human struggle and human love in this life I signed up for. 

I am being. I am transcending. And that transcendence is in itself my purpose and my expansiveness. It is that expanded self which feels, sees, and knows that we are one. There is beauty in life and such a dynamic story when we consider working with another, co-creating a journey or a container together. We consider our energy, influences, and biases when we enter a space with another energetic being. Hence, there is beauty when creating together, knowing it will be different from one created on our own.